James hates Instagram.

Today is our three-month anniversary.

I’m sure that some day we will struggle to remember our year anniversary, but for now every month marks a milestone that necessitates champagne and steak for dinner.

I have learned a lot about James in these past three months, and a lot of them have to do with how wonderfully hilariously different we are: I love anything covered in weird veined cheeses while James only consumes dairy products from cows. Sometimes I watch the Les Misérables trailer just so I can enjoy a good cry, and James mourns that this is the final season of 30 Rock. James can fall asleep just by standing still long enough, and I have a night-time ritual with so many steps and accessories that it is a wonder I ever make it to bed. James piles – I stack. (Yes, these are VERY different.)

And, notably, James hates Instagram. Hates it. Thinks it is an agent of destruction at every event, a tool of disruption at every party, a senseless delay to every meal.

I, on the other hand, am fascinated with it like every good I-recently-graduated-to-an-iphone owner. Life is just so much prettier through a variety of trendy filters.

The obvious tension between our two positions on Instagram leads to lots of pictures like this:

Of course, James himself just moved from a phone with  a broken screen that only showed the last word of a text to an iphone so who knows – maybe he will soon join the Instagrammers?

Maybe, but probably not. And deep down, I am glad. Because as long as he stays off, there is someone to remind me to put down my phone and enjoy life as it is happening, not after the fact, through a haze of artificial filters. There is someone to keep me in check and remind me that it is the living of life that matters, not the looking at it or showing it to others. For that – and for so much else – I love him. 

(Disclaimer: Yes, James is eating apple pie for breakfast in the photo above. Early months of marriage are high on love, low on nutritional value. Love and domestic bliss can be rough on healthy aspirations)

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26 Responses to James hates Instagram.

  1. Liz says:

    Isn’t there some kind of quota for how much weight new husbands are supposed to gain? Carry on, Hannah. Good work.

    • Hannah says:

      I have heard of the “newlywed nineteen” but we are hoping to avoid it! 🙂 the reality is just after the pre-wedding health devotion, real life sets in.

      The fact that we live right by Good Stuff might also have something to do with it…;)

  2. Susannah says:

    don’t all husbands hate Instagram? or is that just ours?

  3. Shannon says:

    So, I almost picked those exact same dishes 😉 It makes me quite happy that you have them; they are so lovely and charming.

    • Hannah says:

      We do really love them… I copied them from my friend Suze. However, one totally exploded in the microwave tonight, which was actually kind of cool… I should have instagrammed it.

  4. Suzy says:

    I am both you and James. I shed tears at the Les Miserables trailer as much as I shed tears over the last season of 30 Rock.

    I also just got an iPhone less than a month ago and I am a little bit ashamed of how much I love it!

    Congratulations on three months! Daniel and I celebrated four last week. Being married is so, so, so awesome!

    • Hannah says:

      Why am I not following you in instagram? Must rectify.

      Also, I have decided that once it ends, I will just start from season one and watch it all the way through.

  5. Everything you wrote in this post is true of me. Everything that you wrote about /both of you/ (except the thing about James and cheese). I think I am the incarnation of your marriage.

  6. Cara says:

    I don’t know anything about instagram, but I know about eating too much pie after getting married. I’m pretty sure it will be okay. After pigging out for a year we discovered a new fitness kick which has balanced things out. When we moved to Arizona Manuel could not wear most of his dress clothes. A month ago he had to go buy smaller ones. Enjoy the gluttonous bliss for now.

    • Hannah says:

      Enjoy we shall!

      You would think that because I had already cooked for James lots over the past couple years, that the thrill would have worn off. No. And somehow, marriage made me feel entitled to ice cream in the evenings. : )

  7. Wendy says:

    Whatever. Pie is a totally legit breakfast two and a half years in. People get pastries, right? What is pie but pastry with extra fruit? Fruit is healthy. Therefore, pie is the breakfast incarnate.

  8. James says:

    This is James and I approve this message. Instagram is wrong and I’m unconvinced that the internet isn’t just a passing fad.

  9. Leslie says:

    Hannah, you might have married a reincarnated old man. Just saying. He scrunches his face up like my grandpa! Keep him young, Hannah, keep him young.

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  11. everything in that first year is so wonderful. happy 3 months 🙂

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  15. Hi Hannah. I’m a new subscriber to your blog – As a newlywed and also a Christian myself I find I relate to so much in your entries. I especially love this quote in the entry above, “there is someone to remind me to put down my phone and enjoy life as it is happening, not after the fact, through a haze of artificial filters. There is someone to keep me in check and remind me that it is the living of life that matters, not the looking at it or showing it to others.” Such a good reminder. 🙂 Thank you for sharing!

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