Heard and seen around this house lately:
“Sorry I couldn’t answer, but I had to Instagram a picture of my cat.“
“Um… you know that you are married now, right? You don’t have to do that anymore. “
Not only am I married, but lately we have been setting the table for at least three in the evening because my little brother and James’ little brother are both in DC this summer! It’s pretty much the best thing ever and we are probably running the risk of smothering them in our affections.
“This sounds like one of those songs that was meant to be a prom song.”
“You love it don’t you?”
“Listen, whenever you find a song you like, you should ask yourself, ‘Could this be a Prom theme song?'”
“And if it could?”
“Then it is probably one of your new favorite songs.”
And then there was the time when I give my self a six-inch long cut on my leg while shaving… ok, so actually I cut myself pretty much every time I shave. I keep on waiting to grow out of this learning stage, but I’m pretty sure it will never happen.
“JAMES I’M DYING! I’M GOING TO LOSE MY LEG! BRING BANDAGES!!!!”
It takes James a large portion of a roll of paper towels and an old ace bandage to calm me down.
“Be thankful you married someone with disaster training. I don’t know what you’d do otherwise.”
But then one time I didn’t cut myself, and I managed to catch something thrown at me and James was all…
“Who are you, you bodysnatching alien who stole my wife!!!!”
We feel it is good to have a list of things always ready to establish between bodysnatcher inhabited James and Hannah, and real James and Hannah. My inability to accomplish simple adult tasks without inflicting bodily harm tops my list. However, I was able to finally accomplish some design progress in our living room. Gone is the totally bare ugly wall! I still haven’t decided on a W yet, but we did come across some cool stuff to hang up. Plus, we acquired yet another bookshelf, meaning that now an entire wall in our living room is covered in books. Oh the perks of living in a city where someone is always getting rid of the Ikea furniture you want at any given time!
James gets up early to research all the things that happened in the world before breakfast and be prepared for the day. I try to only wake up halfway to kiss him good-bye before he leaves at 8:30 and then I drowsily update myself on all the things Instagrammed since I went to bed the night before. One night:
“Do you need your ear plugs and eye mask?”
“No- I just put those on when you get up so that I don’t stay awake while you are getting ready.”
“Oh, because that’s really the Proverbs 31 woman : She rolls over, covers her eyes and plugs up her ears, and lets her husband pour his own cereal. Her children probably starve.”
“Listen, if that woman had been weaving a little less flax or whatever, and getting a little more sleep, she probably would have been a lot happier, and then Solomon wouldn’t have needed so many wives because he could have just had one happy one.”