Last Monday I did a café crawl. I know that the youths are into the sorts of crawls that include progressive drinking, progressive partying, progressive unrestrained merriment that starts late and ends later, and almost always involve disorder, uncomfortable shoes, and no snacks.

I am not into that, any of it.

Thus, a sedate café crawl is more my style, drifting from coffee shop to café and back again, enjoying treats and warm drinks as I productively and aesthetically tackle my to-do list.

PARTY ANIMAL OVER HERE. Said no one ever.

But luckily, I have friends similar to myself, and my friend Rachel was happily game for a café crawl through some places outside of my normal DC haunts. We set out Monday morning, loaded with work and ready to drift about, munching and sipping.

First stop- Slipstream on 14th St. I loved Slipstream. It would probably be my top pick for “good coffee shop to settle in for a long time and enjoy good drinks.” The food was tasty, my latte was exceptional, and the space was cozy, but still bright and airy. Plus, we were blessed to sit next to someone who had the exact personality of Jean-Ralphio’s sister from Parks and Rec. By that I man that she was everything that is wrong with millennials. Throughout the course of our eavesdropping, we learned that she is currently unemployed, but has dabbled in acting, painting, bartending and philanthropy management. She now looks for new jobs in between a VERY demanding schedule of high-end fitness classes including spinning, hot yoga, pilates, etc. She is a vegetarian, and did not like the scone she ordered, which she rudely detailed to the server, only to follow her rant about how it “was just bad, you know? Like, I’m sure you know if you’ve had it,” proceeded to ask for a job application. She also demanded a new scone, insisting she liked savory things, before settling on a chocolate-dipped croissant. She referred to every male in her life as either an ex or a bro and she thinks she should just start a blog. She was fascinating and reviling all at once.

Which of course begs the question: how are all these coffee shops so full all day? It was a workday — why was everyone there? Is everyone a grad student or tourist? When do people work? 

Around lunchtime, it was on to stop two – A Baked Joint on K Street. Oh man. Maybe it was because I knew that a new round of the Whole30 was looming, or maybe it was just that I am weak, but the food at A Baked Joint was perfection and I ate all of it. Perfect sandwiches, toast slathered in Nutella and sea-salt, salted-caramel ice cream sandwiches — all of it. The space was big, much bigger than Slipstream, and Rachel affirms that this is her pick for “where to work and snack all day long.”

Following our sugar binge, we headed over to La Columbe.It was cute, but the bar had been set pretty high by our first two stops. Still, points for them being nice and giving me a big mug of hot water since I brought my own tea.

Lastly, we finished up back near home at Bourbon Coffee. By this point, I was so full of tasty food and good drink that the scales were skewed against it being overly impressive. But I can still attest to it being cozy and comfy, full of good chairs and nice spaces.  And thus ends the first DC café crawl. Till next time, when I continue making my way through the never-ending list of places I want to explore around this city.