If you follow along over on the grams, you are already sick and tired of the fact that we celebrated my birthday this weekend. Donuts! Adventures to get tacos! Party hats and potlucks with not one, but two trays of mac n’ cheese! Party rockin’ in the house tonight, every night.
28. Maybe it’s the new school year, or maybe it’s that it falls right as I start a new year, but I’m thinking a lot this week about what I want to define 28. I have concrete things that I want to accomplish, things like finishing Parks and Recreation and cranking out my dissertation prospectus and a chapter or two. I want to manage to keep just one plantalive and stay on top of grading alllll semester long. But I also have some abstract things that I want to define 28 a whole lot more than they defined 27.
This might come as a surprise, but I am the world’s least spontaneous person. People are shocked by this, because I am loud, I am crazy, and I like FUN. But I do not like spontaneous things. They stress me out. James can call and suggest that we grab burgers instead of dinner, and I will practically have a meltdown, as I have not only planned our meals a week in advance, but I have also calculated the order in which fresh produce will go bad and we cannot deviate. An impromptu ice cream run? Not if I have already indulged in a treat for the day. An unscheduled trip? Nope, because I have my work for the semester carefully mapped out. I am the world’s most predictable fun creator and that’s the way I like it.
But it’s also a problem, because life sometimes demands spontaneity, and even when it doesn’t, it sure makes life more fun. I want to be the type of person who not only plans ahead, but also drops plans when they need to be dropped. I want to be more spontaneous as long as it is easy, so that I can weave it better into life when it’s hard.
Most of all, I want to be more spontaneous in how I extend grace. As a recipient of unfathomable grace, I want it to flow out of me in a steady rush. Sometimes 27 saw it barely trickling, as I am not near so quick to extend grace as I am to need it from others. I want forgiveness to come faster than condemnation, grace to rise quicker than judgement.
Here’s to 28 being defined by spontaneous grace.