If I talked about my baby like I wrote my dissertation…

Graduate school and academia have their own language, their own vocabulary of beautiful phrases and sophisticated words that sometimes hide embellish mundane activities. Since my days are a sometimes a jarring mix of baby fun and intense research and writing, they two start to blend, and before long, I come to understand Henry’s activities in part of the established discourses of academia. Processed with VSCO with a5 preset

Grad speak: “His actions recode the traditional feminine and domestic sphere as a site of male agency and enjoyment.”

Translation: Henry likes to pull everything off the shelves in the kitchen.

Grad speak: “The dominant discourse of juvenile literature rejects a species-ist divide, highlighting animality in human identification and self-understanding.”

Translation: Most baby books are about animals.Processed with VSCO with a6 preset

Grad speak: “While numerous spaces devoted to pleasure are provided, what proves irresistible is the liminal space traditionally relegated to refuse and degradation.”

Translation: Henry would give up all his toys to play in the trashcan.

Grad speak: “He sought to problematize the established notions of quotidian activity.”

Translation: Henry totally refused to follow the directions I left for the babysitter.

Grad speak: “Great time is devoted to mapping the maternal visage, replacing a visual and analytical approach with taste.”

Translation: Babies like to kiss their moms – mouth wide, drool flowing.Processed with VSCO with a6 preset

Grad Speak: “The act of mediating the woman’s visual experience through the veil proved an integral goal of male past-time.”

Translation: Henry really loves putting a blanket over my face and taking it off again.

Grad Speak: “While seemingly random, the decor is organized around the ocular range of the despot.”

Translation: Sometimes we just hurl objects on the floor to try to distract Henry en route to climbing in the toilet or the fire place.

Grad speak: “When viewed through the gendered lens influenced by biochemistry and genetics, the subject initially understood as difficult and restrictive is recast in a positive light.”

Translation: Henry is a mess, but gosh do I love him, because he is MINE.Processed with VSCO with a6 preset

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9 Responses to If I talked about my baby like I wrote my dissertation…

  1. Kimberly says:

    Love it. Household items > toys every time!

  2. Kathryn L-B says:

    We have a four month old and my husband, who is finishing up his PhD, loved this! We just had fun playing “Name that Baby Activity”.

  3. Daniyal Zainurin says:


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  5. Jessica Webber says:

    So funny!!!

  6. Pingback: Working Titles For My Parenting Book | The Art in Life

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