I’m glad we don’t have kids yet.

This is one of those weeks where I’m glad we don’t have kids yet.

It’s not because it gives us the freedom to go out for dinner late at night, or to take off to New York for the weekend, or to watch 24 late into the evening when we should be doing productive stuff.

And it’s not because groceries are cheaper for just two, or because our rent just went up and I can’t imagine ever being able to afford an apartment big enough to hold more than just us and my clothes.

And it’s not even because I actually have very little baby experience and the thought of being in charge of the health, happiness, and well-being of other human beings is terrifying.

It’s because this week, I am so glad that I don’t have to explain to my children what’s on the news. I just don’t think I could do it.

I couldn’t explain to them why someone would plant bombs to kill and injure innocent people. I couldn’t even being to explain to them that those injured bodies can’t be put back together, or that lives ended because someone wanted to do something evil. I wouldn’t be able to explain to them why there is talk of needing armed guards in schools, because someone decided to slaughter a classroom of children in one state, while someone else tried to stab students in another.  I would fail to find the words to explain how someone could snip the spines of some babies and end the lives of countless others, and how a country as probing as ours could want to ignore it.

Because sometimes evil has no reason beyond itself.

How would I explain the news to them all week, and then take them to church on Sunday where they would hear of a loving and just God? How could I explain that? I guess there at least, I could just tell them the truth. He hates this evil too, I’d say. What breaks our hearts breaks His, I’d explain. It’s not meant to be like this, I’d promise.

So for this week, I’m glad we don’t have kids yet. I can only hope and pray that by the time we do, there will be fewer questions that are harder to answer.

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12 Responses to I’m glad we don’t have kids yet.

  1. Kjerstin Kauffman says:

    This provided a good perspective for me yesterday. Do read! http://www.storywarren.com/the-connecticut-shootings-a-letter-to-my-children/ Though evil is rampant, and not to be ignored, despair may be our greatest enemy. Let us not forget that we have a great hope.

  2. Brooke Cook says:

    I got a little teary-eyed reading this…

  3. James Joseph says:

    ‘Until that final glory, however, the world remains divided between two kingdoms, where light and darkness, life and death grow up together and await the harvest. In such a world, our portion is charity, and our sustenance is faith, and so it will be until the end of days. As for comfort, when we seek it, I can imagine none greater than the happy knowledge that when I see the death of a child, I do not see the face of God but the face of his enemy. Such faith might never seem credible to someone like Ivan Karamazov, or still the disquiet of his conscience, or give him peace in place of rebellion, but neither is it a faith that his arguments can defeat: for it is a faith that set us free from optimism long ago and taught us hope instead. Now we are able to rejoice that we are saved not through the immanent mechanisms of history and nature, but by grace; that God will not unite all of history’s many strands in one great synthesis, but will judge much of history false and damnable; that he will not simply reveal the sublime logic of fallen nature, but will strike off the fetters in which creation languishes; and that, rather than showing us how the tears of a small girl suffering in the dark were necessary for the building of the Kingdom, he will instead raise her up and wipe away all tears from her eyes – and there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying, nor any more pain, for the former things will have passed away, and he that sits upon the throne will say, “Behold, I make all things new.” ‘
    -David Bently Hart, ‘By the Doors of the Sea’

    Tons of Frenchman and Dostoevsky throughout; you and James would love it…also, it’s short.

  4. Sam says:

    Wow so well put.

  5. ruthkloha says:

    Hannah…this is exactly what my thoughts have been mulling over all day. I am sick. It’s during these times of evil that I thank God He has prepared a Kingdom where there will be no more death, sorrow, crying or pain.

  6. abby hummel says:

    It’s funny how perspectives can be so different. I see these things and I’m even more grieved we don’t have any kids here. In a world filled with evil, which is going to happen whether I have kids or not, I see evidence everywhere that the world really needs compassionate, godly, brave leaders – the sort of kids I intend to raise if they are given to me. (I’m really glad the Bonhoeffers were having kids – Deitrich was the sixth of eight – even though they clearly saw Germany was on a rapid decline.)

    And yes, it is not supposed to be like this. There is a solution. It will not always be like this.
    Christ has died, Christ is risen, Christ is coming again.

    Love you! Always!

    • Hannah says:

      I guess that is true. I remember a Real Simple editorial that talked about how right after 9/11, someone told the editor — “Doesn’t it make you want to have a baby?” and she went on to explain that babies are hope, a second chance, a reminder that life is good and beautiful and worth fighting for.

  7. bkjergaard says:

    I’ve been with kids all week, and while I’m not a parent, questions are raised and I answer them the best I can. One of the bright spots this week was being able to talk about the good things that happened–people running to hospitals to donate blood, etc. Evil is tough, but I struggle more with the explosion in West, TX. It looks like it was just a horrific accident. Where is God in something that was outside of human will?

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