Making : Our 2016 photo album, and to have it finished before the end of 2017 feels like quite the accomplishment.
Cooking : BLT’s…. which maybe doesn’t count, and actually James always makes those, so it definitely doesn’t count.
Drinking : Coffee hot, coffee cold, coffee in the pot three days old (not really… though I’m maybe not above it if I got desperate.)
Reading: Mark Helprin’s Freddy and Fredericka because my friend Anna promised it was good, but so far it has had everything that annoys me about Helprin’s writing (obnoxiously smug hypermasculine men, silly women, lengthy and maybe pointless digressions, too long and elaborate sentences), so I’m losing faith.
Wanting: For June to last twice as long, because I am already panicked that summer will go too fast.
Looking: For baby-friendly restaurants and activities in some of our travel destinations this summer.
Playing: “Let the Baby Tackle The Mommy and Put Solo Cups on Her Face”- a game at which Henry excels.
Wasting: At least half of every bag of Goldfish, thanks to our chubby ginger gremlin and his enthusiasm for scattering food.
Sewing: As always- no. But, since Henry’s goofy crawl has ripped out the left knee in almost every pair of pants, I should really get on that.
Wishing: That there wouldn’t be a new disaster in the news daily. That our world would break just a little less each day instead of more. That there wouldn’t be so many attacks and shootings and disasters that we all get almost numb to it.
Enjoying: Long days and more flexible nap and bedtime schedules that let us enjoy them.
Waiting: For my download of Hillbilly Elegy to be ready through Overdrive. I am very skeptical that it will be better than this book of a similar nature that is PERFECT IN EVERY WAY GO READ IT NOW, but I decided I should withhold judgement until I
read listened to it.
Liking: How the house feels so still the two days a week that Henry is with a babysitter. How it feels so complete when he has returned his noise to it. How much I can get done on my dissertation while he’s gone. How that concentrated work time means I can really focus on doing things with him the other days.
Wondering: When Henry will start walking, and feeling both excited for that day and sad that it means the end of his total babyness.
Loving: Summer in this city with a baby… blaming fun on your kid really opens up amazing adventures.
Hoping: That I come out of this summer of splash pads and pools with a tan.
Marveling: At how anyone could think that having kids isn’t fun, because I have never laughed so much on such a regular basis.
Needing: To buy my chubby-footed baby some shoes, but for the love of me, I do not understand toddler shoe sizing. Like, what are these numbers and what do they means???
Wearing: This shirt on repeat (because yes, I have it in three colors, and yes, it makes me feel fancy at the park), and I just snagged these shorts, because they are supposedly stain proof. (Henry: “CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.”)
Following: The ladies of this podcast, because even though I started it as a judgy “that is so never how I would raise my kids” listen… I really appreciate their hearts and words and have found myself rethinking so many parenting decisions I made before having kids.
Noticing: How differently Henry has changed my perspective on so many things.
Knowing: That this is only the very beginning of the unraveling of so many expectations and ideas that change when confronted with reality .
Thinking: That that is how it should be, our children undoing us and requiring humility, openness, and new growth.
Feeling: Uncertain of so very many things, but deeply happy for who my people are and the life we are building.
- "Art rediscovers, generation by generation, what is necessary to humanness. " -John Gardner
Lately, on InstagramIn the home stretch of our last day of summer vacation before I go back to (part-time 🙌💃) work next week. Because Henry (and I- Etta is a love nugget who chills wherever) are both crazies who need more freedom than our little space allows, we have made it out every single scorching day to explore this city. It’s been hard and good and here’s what I’ve learned to survive hours out with two tiny people, primarily on foot: 1. Do not fear the heat and humidity. They are your allies, as they are akin to the womb and will knock your baby out so hard for the longest and best of stroller naps, before doing the same to your toddler when you arrive home. 2. You can’t control toddler emotions. You can purchase iced beverages and pretend like you have it together. 3. Bring enough snacks to constitute lunch. Start doling then our around 10am, progressive tapas style. This helps moods stay positive, and means your toddler does not need lunch upon getting home and can be hurled into Nap Land STAT. 4. Embrace any and all water. Splash pad, pool, puddle, neglected garden hose- ALL ARE GIFT. 5. Throw a big bag in the stroller. You start the day with a tidy diaper bag that contains multitudes, but when everyone is melting down and you have to break down the stroller, stow it in the car, get the baby in the carrier, store the scooter, climb the many steps, and get all the thousand things you tossed in the bottom of the stroller in- this is no time for order. 6. Just get the aerosol sunscreen. And the packaged veggie pouches. And the cheese sticks. Decide that you have nothing to prove and don’t waste time trying. 7. Leave early. Leave now. Don’t think- just GET OUT. 8. Remind yourself that the hard and the hauling and the sweating and the intense toddler negotiations all over this city are preferable to the same ordeals...condensed in a small apartment. And the hard parts fade in memory and only the good remains. #iamthiskindofmomIf you have a Henry, I hope you get an Etta. A baby to show you how much easier and quieter and calmer it can be. A baby willing to fill all the spare places and moments with sweetness and steady grace. And if you have an Etta, I pray you get a Henry. Not just to humble you, but to push you further than you ever thought you could go every single day. Love this duo.