Making : Our 2016 photo album, and to have it finished before the end of 2017 feels like quite the accomplishment.
Cooking : BLT’s…. which maybe doesn’t count, and actually James always makes those, so it definitely doesn’t count.
Drinking : Coffee hot, coffee cold, coffee in the pot three days old (not really… though I’m maybe not above it if I got desperate.)
Reading: Mark Helprin’s Freddy and Fredericka because my friend Anna promised it was good, but so far it has had everything that annoys me about Helprin’s writing (obnoxiously smug hypermasculine men, silly women, lengthy and maybe pointless digressions, too long and elaborate sentences), so I’m losing faith.
Wanting: For June to last twice as long, because I am already panicked that summer will go too fast.
Looking: For baby-friendly restaurants and activities in some of our travel destinations this summer.
Playing: “Let the Baby Tackle The Mommy and Put Solo Cups on Her Face”- a game at which Henry excels.
Wasting: At least half of every bag of Goldfish, thanks to our chubby ginger gremlin and his enthusiasm for scattering food.
Sewing: As always- no. But, since Henry’s goofy crawl has ripped out the left knee in almost every pair of pants, I should really get on that.
Wishing: That there wouldn’t be a new disaster in the news daily. That our world would break just a little less each day instead of more. That there wouldn’t be so many attacks and shootings and disasters that we all get almost numb to it.
Enjoying: Long days and more flexible nap and bedtime schedules that let us enjoy them.
Waiting: For my download of Hillbilly Elegy to be ready through Overdrive. I am very skeptical that it will be better than this book of a similar nature that is PERFECT IN EVERY WAY GO READ IT NOW, but I decided I should withhold judgement until I
read listened to it.
Liking: How the house feels so still the two days a week that Henry is with a babysitter. How it feels so complete when he has returned his noise to it. How much I can get done on my dissertation while he’s gone. How that concentrated work time means I can really focus on doing things with him the other days.
Wondering: When Henry will start walking, and feeling both excited for that day and sad that it means the end of his total babyness.
Loving: Summer in this city with a baby… blaming fun on your kid really opens up amazing adventures.
Hoping: That I come out of this summer of splash pads and pools with a tan.
Marveling: At how anyone could think that having kids isn’t fun, because I have never laughed so much on such a regular basis.
Needing: To buy my chubby-footed baby some shoes, but for the love of me, I do not understand toddler shoe sizing. Like, what are these numbers and what do they means???
Wearing: This shirt on repeat (because yes, I have it in three colors, and yes, it makes me feel fancy at the park), and I just snagged these shorts, because they are supposedly stain proof. (Henry: “CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.”)
Following: The ladies of this podcast, because even though I started it as a judgy “that is so never how I would raise my kids” listen… I really appreciate their hearts and words and have found myself rethinking so many parenting decisions I made before having kids.
Noticing: How differently Henry has changed my perspective on so many things.
Knowing: That this is only the very beginning of the unraveling of so many expectations and ideas that change when confronted with reality .
Thinking: That that is how it should be, our children undoing us and requiring humility, openness, and new growth.
Feeling: Uncertain of so very many things, but deeply happy for who my people are and the life we are building.
- "Art rediscovers, generation by generation, what is necessary to humanness. " -John Gardner
Lately, on InstagramSpent the day looking for Nemo and finding so much more. Nothing is more satisfying to me than a day exploring with my sidekicks. Naps were skipped and too many snacks were given out and I finally feel free as a parent to embrace these off-schedule on-adventure days for the gift they are.I think every parent looks at their kids sometimes and smugly congratulates themselves on having the best child there is. You just get overwhelmed sometimes that you got such good ones. And the funny thing is, we all know that other parents are saying this and we could instantly give a lengthy list of the reasons we are glad their kids aren’t ours. Of course, I could make that list about my own too, all their flaws that get under my skin and make me wish for bedtime. But that crazy unconditional love part that comes with being their parent means that no matter what- I know I have the best kids there ever were. And you do too, and it’s irrational and wonderful and is it bedtime yet?